


| How the economy is affecting our Jewish community |
2/11/2009 Many of you have seen my postings on the various Jewish Community listservs over the last few years. I have often asked for help for individuals in our community, and as a community you have always responded generously. One thing that I have never done before is to ask you to help The Jewish Federation. We all know people who have been affected by the economic downturn. What you may not know, however, is the extent to which the members of our local Jewish community have been hurt. From September 1, 2007 through January 31, 2008, The Federation’s Jewish Information and Referral Service (JIRS) took 128 calls from people asking for financial and other assistance. Thirty-four of these callers were looking for scholarships. Forty-eight callers were looking for jobs, of these 48 only 10 were Jewish. Only 16 people, Jewish and non-Jewish, were looking for any kind of financial or housing assistance. During the same period of September through January 2008-2009, JIRS took 143 calls from people asking for help. Only 11 were looking for any kind of scholarship, and of the 25 people looking for work, all were Jewish. Most distressing, however, is that FIFTY-EIGHT (58) people called needing emergency financial or housing assistance. This is more than three times the number of people who called during the same time last year. And, unlike last year, fully 90% of these calls came from our own Jewish community. The Federation has responded to this trend by setting up an Emergency Assistance Fund to help the Jewish community here and abroad. Locally, the funds are administered by the Jewish Social Service Agency (JSSA), with referrals coming through JIRS. If you or someone you know needs assistance, please call The Federation’s Warmline at 1-866-950-4AID (4243), or call JIRS at 301-770-4848. There are two ways that you can help. The first is by donating your time at Super Sunday on February 22. Once again we will be at three locations, the JCC of Greater Washington in Rockville, the Washington DCJCC, and the JCC of Northern Virginia. Shift times in Maryland and Virginia are 9:30-11:30 a.m.; 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.; and from 1:30 – 3:30 p.m. Babysitting will be available at both locations from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. In DC the shifts run from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. and from 3:00 – 5:30 p.m. with babysitting available during the 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. time slot. Babysitting at all locations is free. If you are unavailable on Super Sunday and would still like to volunteer, there will be other opportunities. To volunteer you may either respond to this email with your name, phone number and the location and time you would like to attend, or you may sign up online at https://secure.ujcfederations.org/ft2/form.html?__id=12391. The second way is by making a donation to The Federation. If you are in a position to do so, please give. Any and all amounts are appreciated. One way to give is to take the call on Super Sunday. Or, you can donate online at http://my.dcfederation.org/site/TR/Events/General?px=1014281&pg=fund&fr_id=1220. If you have any questions, please call me at 301-348-7313. Thank you all for your help over the years, (and thank you for reading to the end of this letter). Francie Kranzberg |
| Indian Muslim Proclaims Support for Judaism |
2/2/2009 As I have long ceased to be an observant Muslim, I am hereby
severing all ties with my religion since birth, that is, Islam. My
decision to opt out of Islam is personal, irreversible, and will allow
me to prepare for formal conversion to Judaism. I want this announcement to be posted |
| How many zeros in a billion? |
How many zeros in a billion? This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases. A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet. E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain... let's take a look at New Orleans ... It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number... what does it mean? A. Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528. B. Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787. C. Or... if you are a family of four...your family gets $2,066,012. Washington, D. C. < HELLO! > Are all your calculators broken ?? Accounts Receivable Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago... We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!' And I still have to press '1' for English. I hope this goes around the USA at least 100 times What the heck happened????? |
| Happy 60th |
| by Bob Sargeant, Frederickburg, VA Q: Where do Middle Eastern Arabs find the most peace, prosperity
and democracy? A: Israel. This answer is not to imply that Israeli Arabs do not have serious
civil rights and other problems, but the Arabs that chose Israeli citizenship
over the alternatives are usually far better off than their counterparts
elsewhere and the Israeli Knesset has a fair representation of Arabs.
Efforts at dialogue and improvements are conducted by both Arab and
Jewish Israelis. Most oil-rich Arab states can be compared to gold-rich Spain
in the 16th through the 18th Centuries: Why bother with mundane things
like "work?" Pay someone else to do it and buy the best
of whatever you need in any quantity. The West is complicit in this largesse, because the situation
ever since FDR's romance with the Saud family is that the realpolitik
of supplying oil trumps any consideration for fair governance. In many Western societies, including the U.S., Arab immigrants
are at the top of the socio-economic ladder not because of petrodollars,
but because of a superior work ethic and business sense. A new Golden
Age of Arab culture may be sparked by the end of the Oil Age. Faced with a bastion of technological superiority (and 'that'
religion which is the basis of the leftist nightmare: Western Civilization)
in their midst, the Arabs have indulged in victimhood that gets sympathy
from leftys worldwide. UN resolutions against Israel fall like autumn
leaves. An anecdote sums up the real, versus the illusory. The UN met
to determine the environmental impacts if neighboring states, including
Israel, were to use a particular insecticide. When my puzzled friend asked the Israeli delegate what was afoot,
he casually replied that he was briefing his colleagues on the various
merits and hazards of the pesticide. Were Israel a basket case exporting a few dates and figs, her
neighbors would probably protect her as a theme park of the 'Failed
Zionist Experiment.' By some magical process, Jordanian and Egyptian
land suddenly became 'Palestine' after being conquered by Israel in
the '67 War, and they don't want "Palestine" back. Israel has (to paraphrase Khrushchev) better Jewish nuclear
physicists than anybody else's Jewish nuclear physicists. A non-Arab
nation headed by the biggest nutjob since Schicklgruber may soon attain
nuclear weapons. Even the somnolent EU has is waking up to the Iranian
threat. Europe now has more conservative leaders than anytime since
the Bronze Age. Turkey, Israel, Syria, the U.S., UN and North Korea have become
embroiled in the 'Mystery of the Vanishing Syrian Reactor' and few
Middle Eastern states seem to be overly concerned when they find Israeli
Air Force drop tanks in the back yard after an IAF 'training exercise'
'goes awry.' Most Arab states are more comfortable with a nuclear
Israel than a nuclear Iran or Syria. A 3,200-year-old Egyptian victory stela carving says: "Israel is laid waste, his seed is no more." Reports of its demise are greatly exaggerated. Happy Birthday, Israel. Carry on. |